When I was younger my interpretation of self-love was believing in myself, having confidence, and choosing to do what I wanted.  Well, this interpretation transformed for me one night.  I was in a self-development class, and I remember doing an exercise that sparked my curiosity.  I remember coming home late at night, I was washing my face and I stayed staring at myself in the mirror.  I could not take my eyes off my eyes.  I don’t recall blinking much, and as the minutes went by in that moment, I saw someone kind, compassionate, tender, loving, and smart.  In that moment I was absorbing and acknowledging all of who I truly am in all levels.  Yes, my talent, taste and accolades were things that I was proud of, however since that night, I never once saw myself the way I did before.  I became aware and connected to beautiful ways of being within myself, and a new level of appreciation and love came upon me.  As this kind of love became alive within me, I was also then able to feel it for others more and share it with others too.  Why am I writing about this?  Because this self-realization made me feel whole and connected to my true self.  Imagine being connected to the love inside of you, and feeling happy just because of who you are…   When I became connected to this new appreciation of myself, it gave me the opportunity to not depend on external forces for love… How freeing and beautiful does that sound? I know right!  And therefore, I am writing about self-love.  Self-love is freeing, harmonious and connects us to our authentic selves.  In return we also have love to give to others.  Love is healing, beautiful and pure.  

So how does one create such connection, appreciation, and love for oneself?  First, we need to be open to the idea that this is possible.  Second, begin with curiosity.  What does this concept bring up?  Is this an easy idea or difficult?  Everyone is in a different place and that is okay.  The key is to be gentle, kind, as neutral as possible, and be forgiving of oneself if needed.  If appropriate and there is a personal need for it, be forgiving of others, in your own time, in your own way.  Third, set the intention of loving all of who you are, and that is accepting all of who you are.  The real you is love, and check in with yourself if you experience anything less than that by asking, “is it even real?”.  Say kind and loving thoughts and words to yourself.  Allow yourself to view mistakes as neutral feedback, information that is guiding you versus making you wrong.  Continue to water the love seed inside of you consistently, and with time before you know it, you will think, feel, see, and experience it.  

Now I understand “life happens”.  Speaking for myself, of course there are times I get disconnected.  Grounding myself in my intention of loving myself gives me the opportunity to check in, and make the best choices that are aligned to my intention of self-love.  Here are exercises that can support with shifting back into your intention of self-love:

1. Write a paragraph or two about everything you love about yourself.  You can do this for a few minutes, every day for a week.  This self-love journaling experience serves as a discovery tool of all the goodness that you are. 
2. Create a gratitude list.  This exercise serves as an appreciation for what you create.  This can be done daily.  
3. Listen to a song that evokes loving feelings.  Perhaps it is a song that is about loving oneself.  I particularly love the song “Love Myself” by Hailee Steinfeld.  
4. Practice positive thoughts and self-talk.  It is okay if you notice negative thoughts or conversations within yourself come back; the key is to be a loving interruption and shift back to a positive mindset.
5. Say affirmations in front of the mirror while looking into your eyes daily.  This is going to support with integrating and making loving kind words familiar to you, your mind, and your body.  Eventually, with consistency, the affirmations are going to become organic positive thoughts that you easily connect to. 
6. Take time for yourself.  You can do self-care activities.  Spend time doing hobbies you love.  Or, do nothing.  The purpose is to recharge your battery, and this is going to result in you having more to give. This can look like you are saying “no” sometimes when people are requesting something from you, and it is okay to set boundaries.  Besides, a recharged healthy YOU is only going to benefit everyone.    

You have the ability to love yourself unconditionally.  In fact, it is your birthright, and I am here to cheer you on!  Thank you for letting me share a piece of my heart with you all.  You are loved!  May you be well.

Diana Diaz – Certified Restorative & RTT Hypnotherapist
Astonishing Mind Hypnotherapy
“Let us be the lantern, you already know the path.”