On my way to work I was boarding a one aisle aircraft for a short flight from Burbank to Salt Lake City.  While in the air I was working from my laptop.  I hear an announcement from the flight attendant, asking us to please stay in our seats and keep our seat belts on.  I didn’t think much of it since I flew often and had been through several turbulent flights, so of course with my seat belt on I continued working.  Within a short time after hearing the announcement, we began to experience turbulence.  It was not just any ole turbulence, it felt like rattling more so than some bumps and drops.  My laptop, water bottle, phone, and notebook flew all over the place and I used my arms and hands to hold onto them.  I quickly packed my things away, held on to the armrest, and did my best to not freak out.  I began to feel nauseous and noticed my pelvis area locking itself.  I looked around and the few other passengers on the plane were holding onto their armrest, and held a straight face and paralyzed posture.  I usually would look outside the window when I needed to ground myself on a flight, but there was nothing to look at.  My view was only gray, and it made me more nauseous to look out the window.  I was praying for the turbulence to end, but it felt like it was only getting worse.  I really thought the small aircraft was going to lose control, luckily a few minutes before landing the turbulence stopped.

Once we landed, I felt grateful and okay, but did have soreness in my body.  My mind immediately got focused back to work, and I was able to meet with my peer to visit stores.   In the evening I had dinner with my peer, and I shared with her my traveling experience.  Of course, now that the workday was done, the terrible airplane experience came back to mind.  I chose to let it go and head back to my room, shower, and go to bed.  A couple of hours later, close to midnight I woke up with a sensation to run for my life.  I was on the second floor, and I remember looking at my window and thinking I just wanted out of the room, I wanted to run out, even if it meant jumping out of the window.  I was also bewildered by my view of the hotel room because I was still half asleep and confused about where I was.  I quickly realized I was experiencing anxiety, and acknowledged I was in a hotel room for a work trip.  I called my husband right away.  I told him about the anxiety I was having and my experience on the plane.  My husband reassured me everything was going to be okay.  He reminded me that I have experienced anxiety before and that I would be fine.  Once I relaxed a bit, I said my goodbyes and tried to fall asleep.  Then the fear kicked in high gear again and so did the intrusive thoughts.  My hotel room had a small kitchen, living room space and big window, and this terrified me.  The feeling of needing to run and get out of the hotel room scared me, because it gave me an intrusive thought of “What if I jump out the window because I want to get out of here?”.  I then became frightened of the thought “What if I am not able to tolerate the anxious feelings and go to the kitchen and hurt myself with a knife?”.  I was freaking out about my thoughts and then thought, “Well if I am scared of hurting myself, and I am having anxiety because I was scared of the airplane crashing, then clearly I don’t have intentions or the guts to hurt myself”.  This realization allowed me to relax a little and rationalize my situation and it supported me to nip this in the bud.  I turned on the TV and one of my favorite shows was on.  I began to feel much better and fell asleep.

The next morning, I was back to normal, and in the evening, I did a lot better.  At the end of the week, I flew from Salt Lake City to Portland for one more work trip and did surprisingly well.  I was a little anxious at times on the plane and in my hotel room, but minimal compared to earlier that week.  I thought this was great because it appeared that my mind and body were moving along from the traumatic experience just fine. Well… not quite.  After that work week I was having anxiety and panic attacks every week on each work trip.  My breathing would change as soon as I would sit on the plane.  My palms would get sweaty.  I had an immense feeling of fear, it was so bad that I would look out the window during the entire flight and cry my eyes out.  I would message my family for support when there was turbulence and thought I was going to die, not from an airplane accident but from my body getting physically ill.  Luckily my mind and body would get back together once I was off the plane.  The dedication for my job created a big distraction from my mental, emotional, and physical symptoms, but not for long.

As the weeks went by, my anxiety got worse.  I began to worry about my air travel experience the night before I would travel.  My physical uncomfortable symptoms began as soon as I would step out of the Uber and into the airport sidewalk.  Every night I was on a work trip I would wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety.  Once I got off the plane my legs began to feel heavy, as if I was walking on piles of snow.  My legs started to go numb on the plane.  My left arm started to occasionally tingle.  I was dizzy and losing balance, and this was a big one for me.  I went to urgent care, and I was diagnosed with vertigo.  I was given medication for vertigo and continued traveling.  I was still experiencing anxiety and panic during flights, but one day while visiting a store in Sacramento, I began to lose my energy to stand on my own two feet.  I didn’t worry and only told my peer to please drop me off at urgent care.  I literally felt like my energy levels were being turned down and eventually off.  We rushed to urgent care, and I was admitted and then tested.  I was told the air travel was causing the vertigo.  This devasted me.  It was not what I wanted to hear as I enjoyed my job.  On the flip side, I was happy to hear I did not have a more serious illness.  After I got released, I had to wait a bit before being able to get back on a plane home.  Once home I made an appointment to see my regular doctor, and she also confirmed I was getting vertigo due to air travel and suggested to travel less and see a therapist for anxiety.  This time around, I knew it was best to get support instead of trying to win this battle on my own.

I began my search for a therapist and could not find one in my area that was taking new patients.  I desperately searched online for therapists for anxiety and encountered Hypnotherapy services.  I had no clue what hypnotherapy was or how much it cost, but it didn’t stop me from finding out because I was desperate for a solution.  After a call, I still was not 100% sure if this was going to support me, and the price was a little steep considering it was not covered by insurance and more expensive than talking therapy. However, I did not care about those things at that point.  I wanted the anxiety and panic to go away, and I wanted to enjoy traveling and my career again.

So I booked my first Restorative Relaxation Hypnotherapy session.  I walked in there with a stiff neck, pressure and pain in my chest, heart palpitations, and just grateful to get there safe without getting into a car accident, because driving was also becoming a terrifying experience.  I met my kind hypnotherapist and immediately felt safe.  I was guided through a trance meditation with my eyes closed and can confirm I had never experienced anything like this before.  I felt my chest pressure travel up towards my throat and out of my mouth, and then began to cough heavily.  I experienced a sense of emotional and physical release that I didn’t even know was a thing.  After my session I was elated! I felt free, and most importantly I was excited about my upcoming work trip from Los Angeles to Florida.  I got in my car and sang and danced home.  It was not until I got home that I realized I didn’t panic while driving.  Two days later I was sitting in a plane getting ready for take-off.  My heart started to beat a little faster, however my mind was calm.  I put on headphones and listened to my session’s recorded meditation and fell asleep.  I woke up a couple hours later and enjoyed the rest of my trip.  I experienced small moments of anxiousness here and there within 3 months of my first session, however the prerecorded personalized meditation supported me through it.  Also, compared to my previous healing journey, it was as if my Restorative Relaxation Hypnotherapy session took a shortcut in the healing time.  

I fell in love with this modality, and I immediately got certified through the same company that did my first session at Hubler Restorative Hypnotherapy training.  I found the greatest joy and excitement during my hypnotherapy certification process and since then, it has been an honor and a pleasure to hold a safe space to many precious and courageous human beings as I see them step into their greatness.  Hypnotherapy is life changing, and I will continue to share more about it as well as other ways to support our mind and body’s wellness.  Until next time and may you be well.   

Diana Diaz – Certified Restorative & RTT Hypnotherapist
Astonishing Mind Hypnotherapy
“Let us be the lantern, you already know the path.”